Deep Thoughts on Telemarketing

I know this post drives Skot nuts, but the more often I read it, the more often I consider implementing it at home. Dan is at least trying to convince telemarketers of the evils of his ways.

Author: Dan 'The ListerTroll'
E-mail: dan@listermann.com
Date: 10/23/2000 5:38:40 PM
Subject: Job Counseling
Message: Telemarkerters have bothered me for years. The primary product of their efforts is annoyed people. When the phone rings, you have to answer it. It could be business, children, anything - you must stop what you are doing and answer the phone. Now you have some dork trying to convince you that you should put siding on your brick house. I have started to fight back by making a hobby of annoying telemarkerters. I am going to consume their time for as long as I can.

When they call I carefully and calmly explain the three rules we are going to follow for this conversation:

Rule #1 We never, under any circumstances, buy anything through a telemarketer. This conversatation will be from a finacial perspective a total waste of their time.

Rule #2 We can talk about anything at all except the subject of the call. This rule sometimes needs to be repeated during the course of the call.

Rule #3 The telemarketer will hang up on me.

I try to explain in minute detail how they are primarily engaged in annoying perfect strangers for a living and this is an immoral way to make a living. I ask about how they have made a living in the past and try to emphasize that in this economy nobody needs to do immoral thing for a living.

I compare their job to someone who goes into a bar and randomly asks women for sex. he will eventually find a willing partner, but he will leave many deeply offended and annoyed women in his wake.

I play on their guilt. It's great fun!

Let me know if you have any input!

Dan 'The ListerTroll'

Oogie the killer BABE brewer's yeast tip

chumley on Mar-03-2006 at 10:38 PM RST @ 63.227.171.151

I wanna know his secret, too...I can brew a killer doppelbock in 12 months, but they always taste like shit in three months

Oogie Wa Wa on Mar-03-2006 at 10:40 PM RST @ 71.124.38.11

Munich lager yeast; amazing stuff, way underrated. I use it in my pumpkin lager for the same reason; malty malty malty, treat it nice and its pretty clean; diacetyl rest is an absolute positive must; run it a little warm and it'll do fruity ales nicely; let it go wild at 84 degrees and it'll make a killer farmhouse ale. That's the secret, if you wantto call it that. Geez I don't believe I let that out!!!