The chat mourns the passing of Saddam Hussein

Strange Still at Work DAMMIT on Dec-28-2006 at 07:05 PM RST @ 216.70.29.2

Well they put Sadaam's hanging on Pay per view? If they do I'm in... I'll ivite the neighbors for beer and chips...

yam on Dec-28-2006 at 07:06 PM RST @ 75.128.80.124

What kind of beer goes best with a hanging??

Oogie Wa Wa on Dec-28-2006 at 07:07 PM RST @ 72.69.105.184

Something in a longneck.

Parking Etiquette

M on Dec-20-2006 at 10:00 PM RST @ 67.167.94.100

some fucking guys got into an accident (bumpers dented) right in front of my driveway. they were parked there, talking. I pull up and say hey, can you guys move forward a few feet so I can get in my driveway? dudes just look at me and then waves me off and waves to his bumper. so I lean back out again and shout MOVE YOUR FUCKING CARS FORWARD OR I'M GOING TO GET INTO THAT FREE CANDY VAN AND PLOW YOUR FUCKING CARS INTO THE STREET!! I don't know, but I think the free candy van part scared the fuck out of them, because they glanced at it once and then got in their cars and pulled forward, and they were so freaked, they kept pulling foward in front of another driveway, stopping, then moving forward again until they got to the next street.

M on Dec-20-2006 at 10:05 PM RST @ 67.167.94.100

i tell ya, bunch of assholes in this city. one of the cars was a corvette. his back bumper was turned inside out. it was cool. M on Dec-20-2006 at 10:08 PM RST @ 67.167.94.100 Mom on Dec-20-2006 at 10:09 PM RST @ 69.251.119.159 Oh. Lester Moe Lester's wheels.

Piper on Survival Training

The Anti-Macker on Dec-06-2006 at 04:49 PM RST @ 74.41.20.142

One time Cowan got me a job as a weasel at the library where he works. My truck was broke down, so I had to ride the Grayhound bus down to Farmington. I worked there for 3 weeks, and on the bus trip home we were going over some high mountain pass in Colorado. The lady sitting next to me looked at me and said "you look like you are deep in thought, what are you thinking?". I said "I am thinking that this bus could run off the road and down into that canyon, and we might not be found for days, and I might have to eat some of these poeple to survive". She did not talk to me after that.

Porky Pines on Dec-06-2006 at 04:50 PM RST @ 66.189.24.96 was the lady big and FAT pipes? heheh

The Anti-Macker on Dec-06-2006 at 04:51 PM RST @ 74.41.20.142

No, she was not big and fat. She was actually quite attractive, I would have eaten her first.

The Anti-Macker on Dec-06-2006 at 04:51 PM RST @ 74.41.20.142

I swear that is a true story! It was funny as hell.

The Anti-Macker on Dec-06-2006 at 04:52 PM RST @ 74.41.20.142

I would have no problem eating another human carcas to survive. Meat is meat.

Porky Pines on Dec-06-2006 at 04:53 PM RST @ 66.189.24.96

Grade A select!

The Anti-Macker on Dec-06-2006 at 04:54 PM RST @ 74.41.20.142

Nobody has a problem with blood from donors do they? Or organ transplants from cadavers. Protien is protien.

Jerms on Dec-06-2006 at 04:54 PM RST @ 24.249.73.221 meat is meat and the person ain't the carcass

nathi on Dec-06-2006 at 04:55 PM RST @ 165.127.8.254

meat is not meat...... that is an insult to bacon!

Poor People's Beans

Strange Still at Wurk DAMMIT on Dec-04-2006 at 08:48 PM RST @ 216.70.29.2 ZurC on Dec-04-2006 at 08:43 PM RST @ 217.69.183.35
Making good refried beans really is a work of art...something so basic but so easy to fuck up

You are so right.

My old man made a dish called poor people's beans which was basically beans refried in bacon drippings and parched flour. Man that was THE BEST... I make it whenever I have a pot of pinto beans boiled up. It tastes better every time you refry it, and it keeps FOREVER ! I come home, heat some up put it in a tortilla with shredded leftover chicken, some cheese and a couple of jalapeneos... My Gawd! Thbat will keep you to supper, that's for damn sure!

One of Dan's Sycophants on another Brew Venue

tranquil_liza
Intermediate Member
Username: Tranquil_liza

Post Number: 391
Registered: 03-2003
Posted From: 68.42.201.229

Posted on Wednesday, November 29, 2006 - 02:54 pm: Edit Post
sKotRAT...you come in as the second post on this thread spewing your jealousies, ranting your hatred and contorting a simple request into war.

then you disappear to your hole while your "legion of followers" carry out your will to exhaustion.

now you come back at the end to show us your healing powers.

you are now...always have been...and always will be an idiot of enormous proportion.

Saturday Night Chat

PULQUE on Nov-25-2006 at 11:30 AM RST @ 24.128.118.170

It's nine o'clock on a Saturday the regular crowd shuffles in There's an FAT MEAN CRUZCAMPO sitting next to me Makin' love to his tonic and gin He says, Skot can you play me a memory I'm not really sure how it goes But it's FAT and its MEAN and I Shit Where I Sit And I'm not wearing any clothes Da da da de de da da da de de da da da Sing us a song, you're the piano man sing us a song tonight Well, we're all in the mood for some good old Pron And you've got us feelin' alright Now TD at the bar is a friend of mine He gets me my drinks for free And he's quick with a joke or to light up your smoke But I barely come up to his knees He says Skot, I believe this is killing me As the smile ran away from his face Well I'm sure that I could be a movie star If I could only get into this dress Sing us a song, you're the piano man sing us a song tonight Well, we're all in the mood for some good old Pron And you've got us feelin' alright Now Mother is a real shit shovelist Who nevers has time for a brew And he's talking with Shoe who was in the navy So we all say FUCK THE NAVY for life And the YP is practicing politics As Metal slowly gets stoned Yes, they're sharing a drink they call Homebrew But it's better than drinking alone It's a pretty good crowd for a Saturday, And RB gives me that smile 'Cause he knows that it's me they've been coming to see To forget about Bill Pierce for awhile. And the flatulance sounds like a carnival And the bar smells like Feet and Ass And they shit and they stink and ruin the air And say "Man, it smells like ASS in here?" Da da da de de da da da de de da da da Sing us a song, you're the piano man sing us a song tonight Well, we're all in the mood for some good old Pron And you've got us feelin' alright

THE ALIEN THREAT!!!!

zUrC on Nov-09-2006 at 08:33 PM RST @ 217.69.183.35

I believe that we are on the brink of making OFFICIAL contact with the aliens soon. Things are getting so big that the government cannot hide it anymore. So many people have been killed by the CIA after talking about what they knew. The truth will come out soon.

zUrC on Nov-09-2006 at 08:35 PM RST @ 217.69.183.35

WHEN YOU FIND OUT ABOUT THE ALIENS YOU WILL FORGET ALL ABOUT TESTER.....BUT YOU MAY NOT HAVE A GUN TO DEFEND YOURSELF. THE ALIENS ARE COMING TO HARVEST US FOR FOOD. THIS IS TRUE.

zUrC on Nov-09-2006 at 08:36 PM RST @ 217.69.183.35

IMAGINE THAT YOU WILL BE THE MAIN COURSE.

zUrC on Nov-09-2006 at 08:39 PM RST @ 217.69.183.35

THEIR PLAN IS WORKING TOO. YOU ARE ALL SO OCCUPIED WITH POLITIKZ AND WELFARE AND BEER THAT YOU WONT EVEN KNOW WHEN THEY LAND IN YOUR BACKYARD AND PLACE THE FEEDER TUBE UNDER YOUR FRONT DOOR TO MILK YOUR BODY OF YOUR LIFE FLUIDS.

zUrC on Nov-09-2006 at 08:40 PM RST @ 217.69.183.35

YOUR PRECIOUS BODILY FLUIDS MANDRAKE!

zUrC on Nov-09-2006 at 08:44 PM RST @ 217.69.183.35

I DO NOT WANT THEM DRUNK. I WANT THEM TO EMBRACE THE REALITY THAT OUR CONTACT WITH SUPERIOR ALIEN BEINGS IS ON OUR NEAR HORIZON. REMEMBER, I TOLD YOU ABOUT IT HERE FIRST.

Tandoori chicken without the tandoor

aleman on Oct-28-2006 at 10:18 PM RST @ 24.230.141.157

1 (4 to 4 1/2 pound) chicken, cut into 8 pieces, skin removed 2 tablespoons vegetable oil 1/2 cup chopped white onion 2 tablespoons chopped garlic 2 tablespoons chopped ginger 1 teaspoon finely chopped serrano or jalapeno pepper, stem and seeds removed 1 tablespoon paprika 11/2 teaspoons salt 1 teaspoon ground cumin 1 teaspoon turmeric 1 teaspoon ground coriander 1 teaspoon garam masala 1/2 teaspoon cayenne 1/2 cup plain yogurt 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice With a fork, prick holes in the chicken pieces. Using a knife, cut diagonal slices 1-inch apart, and 1/2-inch deep into the larger pieces. Place the chicken in a baking dish. In a blender, combine the oil, onion, garlic, ginger, pepper, and process on high speed to a paste. Add the paprika, salt, cumin, turmeric, coriander, garam masala, and cayenne, and process until well blended. Add the yogurt and lemon juice, and process to a smooth sauce, scraping down the sides to combine all the ingredients. Pour the marinade over the chicken. Turn to coat evenly, rubbing the marinade into the holes and slits. Cover tightly with plastic wrap, refrigerate for at least 4 hours, and up to 24 hours, turning occasionally. Preheat a grill. Remove the chicken from the marinade. Place on the grill and cook for 8 to 10 minutes on the first side. Turn, baste as needed, and cook on the second side for 8 to 10 minutes. Turn and continue cooking, as necessary until the chicken is cooked through, but still tender, about 25 to 30 minutes. (Alternately, bake in a preheated 425 degrees F oven on a baking sheet for 35 minutes.)

The Happy Piper on Oct-28-2006 at 10:20 PM RST @ 74.41.20.142

ALECAN!

aleman on Oct-28-2006 at 10:21 PM RST @ 24.230.141.157

hey now. I grilled the chicken then baked it for a bit 'cause raw chicken is poison.

Baked goods revisited

RB on Oct-25-2006 at 10:12 AM RST @ 68.56.251.177 I'm going to go warm a bagel in the microwave, then have sex with it.



bbl

Chumley's Smoked Fish Dip

chumley on Oct-08-2006 at 05:39 PM RST @ 71.32.186.122 Made some of this out of the salmon I smoked a couple of weekends ago...delicious!

Smoked Fish Dip

1 ½ cups crumbled smoked fish
1/2 cup milk
8 ounces light cream cheese, softened
1/4 cup finely minced onion
1 stalk finely chopped celery
1 tablespoon finely minced fresh parsley
3 teaspoons sweet pickle relish
1/2 teaspoon lemon juice
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce (or to taste)
Cayenne, salt and pepper to taste
Put the smoked fish in a medium bowl and add the milk. Cover and chill for 30 minutes to an hour. Stir in the cream cheese, onion, celery, parsley, relish, lemon juice, Worcestershire sauce, and cayenne, salt and pepper to taste.
Cover and chill for 2 to 3 hours until flavors have blended.
Serve with your favorite crackers.

Filet & Release

Macker on Jul-11-2006 at 12:11 AM RST @ 65.19.225.131 you know, I catch two very nice fish weekend before, I get silence.....what is it with you giys and your constant need to harangue me on stupid shit like that?

You know, if any one of you showed up out here, I would take you down the river, feed you, row the entire fucking day, or near the entire fucking day, ad make sur eyou have a good time. But because I share with you guys my successes and failures with regards to things, you all feel the need to bust my chops on the failures to a consistent and immature end. Now, before you spout off, yes, I give as good as I get....just seems I have gotten a lot more than my share lately.

Now, you want to head out here and fish, drink beer, shoot the shit, have fun, fine....you want to bust my nuts consistently, don't bother.

Sourdough Bread Jerms Style

Jerms on Jun-20-2006 at 07:35 PM RST @ 24.249.73.221 oooh, that's right, i keep forgetting you sent me that grape-mash starter...

timing is fairly key..

2 cups flour, 1.5 cups water, 3 tablespoons of starter overnight.

no more than 12 hours, that should be enough time for the starter to hit it's peak, will double in volume.. if you go too long and it collapses, this is a problem

reserve a few tablespoons of this the next morning, store in fridge

to the rest of it, i add 2c water, 6c flour and a palm full of salt.

stir together, let rest for 45 min, turn out and spread on the counter, fold in sides and top. rest 45 min, turn out, spread on counter, fold in sides and top. rest 45 min, turn out, spread on counter, fold in sides and top. let rise till double, form loaves, let rise, slash and bake at 450&degF for 30-45 min, till blistered...

A $175,000,000 fuck up

Yeasty on Jun-14-2006 at 09:58 PM RST @ 71.200.169.37 This was released to the press late yesterday:

"The purpose of the accident investigation board is to determine the facts and circumstances that caused the aircraft to crash. Similar to the national transportation safety board process we use all available avenues to collect this information. In this case, the investigation board had the cockpit voice recordings, digital flight data system information, radar plots (Figure 2) of the aircraft flight and recordings from ground agencies that communicated with the mishap aircrew. We also interviewed members of the aircrew and passengers from the mishap flight. The accident investigation board team was very thorough in collecting and considering all these inputs in coming to our conclusions concerning this accident.

The safety of our airmen and passengers, along with the proper use of Air Force assets, is of utmost concern. We take these events and their investigation very seriously.

In this case, we were very lucky that all personnel, aircrew and passengers, survived the accident. The response from the Dover community, local hospitals and emergency response organizations is a testament to the outstanding support of the American public to the United States Air Force.

The accident investigation board conducted a thorough review of this mishap. The board assembled at Dover AFB, Delaware, only traveling outside Delaware to conduct aircrew interviews. During the course of this investigation, the board interviewed or consulted with the following personnel or agencies at the applicable locations: The mishap aircrew, Lockheed Martin representatives, 512th Airlift Wing standardization and evaluation, and Flight Safety. In addition, a member of the board flew on a Dover local C-5 mission, under conditions similar to the mishap, to verify the proper operation of the precision approach path indicators (PAPI) for runway 32. The board also completed event re-enactments in a C-5B avionics modernization program modified simulator, examined the damaged mishap aircraft, reviewed Air Force instructions, technical orders, data from the digital flight data recorder, cockpit voice recordings, recorded radio transmissions, maintenance training records, mishap aircraft forms, aircrew medical, flight evaluation, and training records. As a result of this investigation, we reached the following conclusions about this mishap:

There is clear and convincing evidence the primary cause of this mishap includes:

1) The pilots’ and flight engineers’ failure to use the number three, fully operational, engine. (Figure 4)

After departure and initial climb-out the aircrew shutdown the number two engine for a “Thrust Reverser Not Locked” indication. After maneuvering east of Dover AFB to land, mission pilot one reduced all engines to idle for descent and configuring of the aircraft. After reducing the remaining three throttles to idle, MP1 mistakenly moved the number two throttle (shutdown engine) in concert with engines one and four, but left the number three throttle (fully operational engine), in idle for the remainder of the flight. Mission pilot two and three, the instructor, and primary flight engineers, all failed to recognize mission pilot’s use of the number two throttle (failed engine) instead of the number three throttle (operating engine), to safely fly the final approach and landing. The accident investigation board performed numerous C-5B, avionics modified program, simulator flights using similar weather and aircraft conditions as the mishap flight. Utilizing the number three, fully operational, engine as late as 300 feet above the ground, during the same approach flown by the mishap crew (with full flaps), resulted in a safe final approach and landing.

2) Additionally, the instructor’s and primary flight engineer’s failure to brief, and pilots’ failure to consider or utilize either a 62.5 or 40% flap setting (instead of the 100% setting) as recommended in C-5 directives.

During approach and landing the aircraft weighed approximately 730,000 lbs. When flying non-precision approaches at a gross weight above normal landing weight, defined as aircraft weights over 635,850 lbs, runway conditions permitting, a 40% flap approach and landing is recommended by C-5 directives. A 40% flap approach and landing is flown at a higher approach and landing speed, and with less drag, than the full flap (100%) approach and landing. At this aircraft weight, and weather conditions, a 40% flap approach speed would have been 20 knots faster on final (166 knots versus the 146 knots used). If landing flaps (100%) are necessary or desired, they should be selected only after landing is assured. Mission pilot one selected full flaps (100%) passing 1,000 ft above the ground, over 4 miles from runway 32. At the mishap aircraft weight, speed, altitude, and position, this selection of full flaps (100%) was premature. The board performed numerous C-5B simulator flights using similar weather and aircraft conditions as the mishap flight. Utilizing either a 62.5 or 40% flap setting and approach speed (with the number two engine shutdown and number three engine in idle), during the same approach flown by the mishap crew, resulted in a safe final approach and landing.

3. Finally, the pilots’ failed attempt of a visual approach to runway 32, descending well below a normal glidepath for an instrument aided approach or the normal VFR pattern altitude of 1,800 ft.

Mission pilot one flew a heavyweight, full flap (100%), visual approach to runway 32, descending well below a normal glidepath for a safe landing. A normal glidepath would have been approximately 900 ft at three miles, 500 ft at 1.8 miles and 300 ft at one mile. The mishap aircraft was 500 ft at 3 miles, 300 ft at 1.8 miles, and 150 ft at one mile. Misson pilots two and three did not offer corrections, nor address their low altitude during final approach. The Precision Approach Path Indicator (PAPI) was flight tested and found to be operating normally. Additionally, the instrument landing system to runway 19 was available and offered by Dover approach control. TACAN Z (Figure 3) to runway 32 was also available, with a published approach altitude of 1200 ft at 3.8 miles from the approach end of runway 32. Simulator flights with full flaps (100%), similar engine settings as the mishap aircraft (i.e., only using engines one and four), and similar weather conditions, revealed that either an instrument landing system approach to runway 19 or the TACAN Z to runway 32, flown at published altitudes, would have resulted in a safe landing.

There is substantial evidence that one additional factor contributed to the mishap:

Mission pilot one, the aircraft commander, did not provide a complete approach briefing to the aircrew.

Items including nonstandard factors, configuration, landing distance and missed approach intentions were not addressed. A full briefing would have ensured all crewmembers understood a full flap (100%) approach was planned, which engines would be operated, a landing distance of 4,309 ft was calculated, and a missed approach was not possible at that weight and configuration. Had a full briefing occurred it is possible the other pilots or flight engineers would have further discussed these factors leading to a safe return to Dover AFB.

To summarize, the accident investigation board concluded that the cause of the mishap was the pilots’ and flight engineers’ failure to use the number three, fully operational, engine; the instructor’s and primary flight engineer’s failure to brief, and pilots’ failure to consider or utilize, a 62.5 or 40% flap setting (instead of a 100% flap setting); and the pilots’ attempt at a visual approach to runway 32, descending well below a normal glidepath for an instrument aided approach or the normal visual flight rules pattern altitude of 1,800 ft. There is substantial evidence that a contributing factor to this mishap was mission pilot’s failure to give a complete approach briefing, in that, nonstandard factors, configuration, landing distance, and missed approach intentions were not addressed."

The Chat = "Pseudo-Intimate Interpersonal Relationships"

Metal on May-20-2006 at 06:46 PM RST @ 67.167.94.100 While not yet defined as a true addiction, many people are suffering the consequences of obsession with the online world, warns Dr. Diane M. Wieland, who treats patients with computer addiction in her practice in Lansdale, Pennsylvania.

For some people, the Internet may promote addictive behaviors and pseudo-intimate interpersonal relationships, reports Wieland in the journal, Perspectives in Psychiatric Care. "Such cyberspace contacts may result in cyber disorders such as virtual relationships that evolve into online marital infidelity (cybersex) or online sexually compulsive behaviors," she writes.

"Obsession with and craving time on the computer results in neglect of real-life personal relationships to the point of divorce," Wieland says.

The prevalence of Internet addiction is hard to gauge at the moment, Wieland notes. Extrapolating from prevalence rates of other addictions, she thinks that 5 percent to 10 percent of Internet users will most likely experience addiction.

Signs and symptoms of Internet addiction include a general disregard for health and appearance; sleep deprivation due to spending so much time online; and decreased physical activity and social interaction with others. Dry eyes, carpal tunnel syndrome, and repetitive motion injuries of the hands and fingers are common.

Internet addicts may also get the "cyber shakes" when off line, exhibiting agitation and typing motions of the fingers when not at the computer.

Many Internet addicts have a history of depression, alcohol or drug abuse, and anxiety disorder, according to Wieland, who is an associate professor at the La Salle University School of Nursing.

"Denial is strong in Internet addicts who claim they cannot be addicted to a machine," Wieland notes. The "one more minute" response to being asked to go offline is common and is similar to an alcoholic who says they will quit drinking after "one more drink."

People who suspect they or a loved one might be an Internet addict, Wieland says, can find out by taking a screening test outlined in the book "Caught in the Net - How to Recognize the Signs of Internet Addiction and a Winning Strategy for Recovery," authored by Kimberly S. Young.

Cognitive behavioral therapies, often combined with psychotherapy and medications such as antidepressants are used to treat Internet addiction. Family and marital counseling and support groups are also helpful when online marital infidelity is involved.

We need a trigger for this!

aleman on May-10-2006 at 06:40 PM RST @ 24.230.141.157 To pull a McClusky:

To be offered a unique opportunity to fish a world class trout stream only to decline in favor of meeting with a key borrower to discuss vintage wines and hot stocks.

The Most Inspirational Thing I Have EVER Read on the Chat

metald on Apr-13-2006 at 12:48 AM RST @ 67.167.94.100

keger just dropped the bomb on us. his girlfriend is pregnant.

metald on Apr-13-2006 at 12:50 AM RST @ 67.167.94.100

that would seem like no big deal, except they were in no way ready to have kids. everyone is deeply in debt. they are still in shock now, keger is thinking giving up to adoption. metald on Apr-13-2006 at 12:56 AM RST @ 67.167.94.100 i've always thought I'd be for abortion, but now getting to imagine being in his shoes, I don't think I could, even if I was simply unprepared to raise a kid. hop on Apr-13-2006 at 01:26 AM RST @ 66.189.24.96 metal, we were in Kegers shoes 35 years ago (Maybe worse) & I am glad we never did anything rash like that, I couldnt imagine not having my oldes son Justin around now. hes 34 hop on Apr-13-2006 at 01:28 AM RST @ 66.189.24.96 Its like anything else in life, you make due with what you have even though you think you cant hop on Apr-13-2006 at 01:47 AM RST @ 66.189.24.96 metald on Apr-13-2006 at 01:44 AM RST @ 67.167.94.100 heh. yeah i hope they work it out together. but how do you support a kid with nothing? I dont know the exact answer to that All I know is that we did You have to work it out To think that you cant is to succumb to instant defeat I dont accept that in my life hop on Apr-13-2006 at 01:51 AM RST @ 66.189.24.96 I have had nothing at two points in my life, actually the second time I had less than nothing. I lost evrything & still owed $22,000 to the IRS after I got busted by the FBI & I owed thousands more to coke dealers. The IRS froze my assets & bank account & still I overcame it. so if I could do it others can too

Well, now! Say no more, say no more!

Nathi on Apr-05-2006 at 11:02 AM RST @ 165.127.8.254 Speaking of sucking, how is this for a kick in the pants. I was asking my grandma where the English part of my family is from (I am 1/8 English)...get this...


COCKERMOUTH!


JEEZE!....I knew there was a reason I distanced my self from that side of my blood line. Bunch of Germans and Cockermouthians.

Interesting keg cleaning gadget idea

FR - brewin on Mar-31-2006 at 11:57 AM RST @ 24.159.40.227

Chumley, get yourself an old dishwasher motor/pump (usually free for the scrounging), and an old 5 gallon bucket. Build a stand with motor under the bucket, fed by a bottling spigot. The pump output is to a liquid QD on a 6' hose. Put some hot PBW in the bucket, drop the corny lid in it, hook up the QD to the corny, put the corney upside down in the bucket. Turn on the pump and go have a beer. repeat, getting drunk as hell if you have a lot of keg to clean.

FR - brewin on Mar-31-2006 at 11:58 AM RST @ 24.159.40.227

You can even put a gas QD on the keg to leg solution thru that poppet, too.

Deep Thoughts on Telemarketing

I know this post drives Skot nuts, but the more often I read it, the more often I consider implementing it at home. Dan is at least trying to convince telemarketers of the evils of his ways.

Author: Dan 'The ListerTroll'
E-mail: dan@listermann.com
Date: 10/23/2000 5:38:40 PM
Subject: Job Counseling
Message: Telemarkerters have bothered me for years. The primary product of their efforts is annoyed people. When the phone rings, you have to answer it. It could be business, children, anything - you must stop what you are doing and answer the phone. Now you have some dork trying to convince you that you should put siding on your brick house. I have started to fight back by making a hobby of annoying telemarkerters. I am going to consume their time for as long as I can.

When they call I carefully and calmly explain the three rules we are going to follow for this conversation:

Rule #1 We never, under any circumstances, buy anything through a telemarketer. This conversatation will be from a finacial perspective a total waste of their time.

Rule #2 We can talk about anything at all except the subject of the call. This rule sometimes needs to be repeated during the course of the call.

Rule #3 The telemarketer will hang up on me.

I try to explain in minute detail how they are primarily engaged in annoying perfect strangers for a living and this is an immoral way to make a living. I ask about how they have made a living in the past and try to emphasize that in this economy nobody needs to do immoral thing for a living.

I compare their job to someone who goes into a bar and randomly asks women for sex. he will eventually find a willing partner, but he will leave many deeply offended and annoyed women in his wake.

I play on their guilt. It's great fun!

Let me know if you have any input!

Dan 'The ListerTroll'

Oogie the killer BABE brewer's yeast tip

chumley on Mar-03-2006 at 10:38 PM RST @ 63.227.171.151

I wanna know his secret, too...I can brew a killer doppelbock in 12 months, but they always taste like shit in three months

Oogie Wa Wa on Mar-03-2006 at 10:40 PM RST @ 71.124.38.11

Munich lager yeast; amazing stuff, way underrated. I use it in my pumpkin lager for the same reason; malty malty malty, treat it nice and its pretty clean; diacetyl rest is an absolute positive must; run it a little warm and it'll do fruity ales nicely; let it go wild at 84 degrees and it'll make a killer farmhouse ale. That's the secret, if you wantto call it that. Geez I don't believe I let that out!!!

Damn, this sounds good!

mwb on Feb-13-2006 at 12:06 AM RST @ 24.182.233.246 I take those pr0k loins and cut them into three roasts. Brine with apple juice, brown sugar and salt, drain, and then sear real well on the grill. Move off the coals, and slather on Bayfield Apple Mustard, chopped sage and rosemary, and a bunch of cracked black pepper. Slow roast about an hour and let cool about 15-20 minutes. Slice up and dare yourself to eat just a few pieces.

The Joy of Urban Living

nathi on Jan-30-2006 at 11:12 AM RST @ 165.127.8.254

I NEED more coffee today...fucking cat woke me up at 3AM knocking a damn glass off the bed side table, then I could not stop coughing.

Cagey on Jan-30-2006 at 11:13 AM RST @ 207.250.116.151

Broken glass makes you cough?

nathi on Jan-30-2006 at 11:14 AM RST @ 165.127.8.254

Thing that sucks, I thought it sounded like glass, so I asked Heidi to check to see if a glass broke from her bedside table and she said no...so then I had to go check all the windows, the cars, the neighbors house...etc

nathi on Jan-30-2006 at 11:15 AM RST @ 165.127.8.254

haveing a cold makes me cough...smart ass!

nathi on Jan-30-2006 at 11:16 AM RST @ 165.127.8.254

last time I got woke up in the middle of the night it was a drunk smashing into some cars two doors down. I looked everywhere for what it was, but must have missed the cars pushed into the front lawn.

nathi on Jan-30-2006 at 11:17 AM RST @ 165.127.8.254

time before that it was cops in my garage...that was an interesting one. Then it was a drunk taking out a telephone poll out on the Blvd.

nathi on Jan-30-2006 at 11:17 AM RST @ 165.127.8.254

maybe I should move to the country

Cagey on Jan-30-2006 at 11:18 AM RST @ 207.250.116.151

Yes, move out to the middle of nowhere, it's what all the cool kids are doing

nathi on Jan-30-2006 at 11:18 AM RST @ 165.127.8.254

oh wait...and there is the time I got woke up because a rat was drunk in my basement and got lost and was calling out help.....classic

Cagey on Jan-30-2006 at 11:18 AM RST @ 207.250.116.151

If you don't have a barn, you ain't cool

nathi on Jan-30-2006 at 11:19 AM RST @ 165.127.8.254

But then I could not walk down the street to buy stilton cheese at 10PM on a Saturday when I am drunk...

nathi on Jan-30-2006 at 11:19 AM RST @ 165.127.8.254

I have a stand-alone garage....that is barn-like

Cagey on Jan-30-2006 at 11:20 AM RST @ 207.250.116.151

Your basement is confusing, I was turned around a few times but I never yelled for help because I knew you would mock me

Cagey on Jan-30-2006 at 11:20 AM RST @ 207.250.116.151

You could make your own stilton cheese in your very own cave

Cagey on Jan-30-2006 at 11:21 AM RST @ 207.250.116.151

A stand-alone garage is not barn-like and you know it.

nathi on Jan-30-2006 at 11:21 AM RST @ 165.127.8.254

I will not tell on the rat who it was....but they somehow got into the furnace room and could not get out.

nathi on Jan-30-2006 at 11:22 AM RST @ 165.127.8.254

you could have just let me have that garage thing, KG....

nathi on Jan-30-2006 at 11:22 AM RST @ 165.127.8.254

I should put a night light in the hall

Cagey on Jan-30-2006 at 11:23 AM RST @ 207.250.116.151

How about this, it is more barn-like than living in a condo with a first-floor garage.

nathi on Jan-30-2006 at 11:24 AM RST @ 165.127.8.254

Thanks KG....I think

Cagey on Jan-30-2006 at 11:25 AM RST @ 207.250.116.151

you're welcome

Metal on Jan-30-2006 at 11:25 AM RST @ 67.167.94.100

instead of a night light, i would setup some speakers that whispered "over here" from 4 different directions.